Two Mantras and Three Songs
September 2018 — talking about the part I'd left out
For the whole first year of KetoDick, I didn't talk about mental health. Not once, really. I'm not a doctor, this isn't medical advice, and if somebody's struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts they should get professional help. I didn't feel comfortable having that responsibility in my hands (live TYFB1957).
But 2018 changed that. I'd been coaching people one-on-one over the summer, spending hours on the phone learning about their families and jobs. And a lot of the time, the reason someone stopped answering wasn't the diet. It was depression, and then the diet slipping made the depression worse, and around it went (live TYFB1957).
I knew that cycle from the inside. Here's the frustrating thing about depression, the way I described it then: my whole family had lost a lot of weight together over the past year, on something I didn't know anything about a year before, and some mornings that didn't make me feel any better. It should have. Knowing you're doing all right and still not feeling all right is worse than just feeling bad (live TYFB1957).
Where I was
On September 12th I said it plainly on a live. I went through a difficult breakup that year. I didn't have a girlfriend. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do professionally. There were bills and chores I didn't want to do. And KetoDick didn't pay any bills; I just did it because I loved the group (live OXFK1077).
I also told them that the next morning I had a psychology appointment and then a psychiatrist appointment. Two appointments for my own support system. Because I'd gotten a lot of applause for the mental-health stuff, and I know some people thought I had my shit together. Just because I look like this and made a good video where I know things doesn't mean I always do well, or that I apply all these lessons to myself (live OXFK1077).
The toolkit
I'm not a therapist. I said I'm more like a high-school science teacher: I didn't discover gravity, I just read the research and explain it. So what I shared that day was a small toolkit, and I kept it small on purpose. This is Keto Basic. Keep it basic (live OXFK1077).
Mantra one: "As you do one thing, so you do all things." I have a lot going on and I get distracted. I start the laundry, notice my dresser's a mess, start cleaning that, get a text, open Facebook, and suddenly I'm answering keto questions with half-finished projects all over the house and a seltzer can left somewhere. Then on the day I'm actually sad, there's all that mess waiting to make me feel worse. So when I catch myself skipping the small thing, like hanging up my gym gear to dry after a hard workout, I say it in my head. If I get lazy about putting my stuff away, I'll get lazy about keeping my hands up, and then out I go (live OXFK1077).
Mantra two: "Everything in the world is being handled, if poorly." Help out if you want. If not, someone somewhere is working on it. I care about a lot of things, like water quality where I live, and if I try to fight every battle I do none of them well. If I closed KetoDick tomorrow, there are researchers and books out there that would cover it. That takes some pressure off. And it reminds me that the group is something I choose to do, not something I owe (live OXFK1077).
No more than two mantras. Two is probably too many (live OXFK1077).
Three songs. Pick three songs that reset your mood. Words that mean something to you, or just a beat that lifts you, or an epic movie soundtrack. If you're stuck in bed with the covers pulled up, play the three. Don't try to do anything, just let them wash over you. Maybe they get you up, maybe they don't, but when you're depressed, having something to try at all matters. Then play the same three when you're meal-prepping or just finished a workout, so your brain connects them with doing well (live OXFK1077).
Thirty minutes of light movement. Not a workout with heart-rate zones. Twenty to forty minutes of something mild: walk the block, your dog deserves it, or do what my mom used to make us do as kids, a 50-item pickup. Walk around the house putting away 50 things and say each one in your head: dirty socks to the laundry, dirty socks to the laundry. The point is to get out of your thinking mind and into your moving mind (live OXFK1077). On the live I fumbled the name of that brain effect; a few days later I got it right: transient hypofrontality (live GKYD4230).
I also gave them a line a group member had sent me, which I saved: just because I could yesterday doesn't mean I can today, and just because I can't today doesn't mean I won't be able to tomorrow (live OXFK1077).
The lesson
Knowing the material doesn't mean you always do well. I knew all of this and still had two appointments the next morning. That's okay to say out loud. The diet is a tool that's supposed to work for you, not one more thing you owe somebody (live TYFB1957).
What I'd tell you now
I'd keep every one of those tools, and I'd put the appointments first, not last. Mantras, songs and walks are things to try alongside real help, not instead of it. If you're in crisis or thinking about hurting yourself, contact your local emergency number or crisis line now, and tell your doctor. If you have any history of disordered eating, start keto only with your care team in the loop (keto and eating-disorder history). For the habit side, see habits that keep the weight off and exercise benefits beyond weight loss.
Watch the originals: the September 8 live, the mantras-and-music live, and the September 17 live.
Earlier: Resting Heart Rate: 53 to 70 · Later: $960 a Year, Fifty People, No More